swankivy.com - links page

This page contains my favorite weird links. Ordinarily they are not offensive (there's a whole other page for that!), and they are in alphabetical order by site name.

Area 404: Go check out pages that have very amusing original "page not found" pages.
The Bad Pictures Page: One of my own "weird" sites. Features badly taken photographs of me and those in my life.
The Barney Fun Page: KILL THE PURPLE DINOSAUR!!! Choose your weapon and fire! When I first came to the Web, this was the latest technology, I promise--and our hate for Barney was fresh.
Bert is Evil: Just go here to see absolute proof that Bert is not a kind, good Muppet.
Black People Love Us! Isn't it cool? I mean, they're white, but for some reason, all the black people just adore this white couple! Go find out why.
Bork-Bork-Bork: Now you can surf Swedish Chef style! Google.com has an option to view its site in the language of our favorite culinary-talented Muppet. If you click on the language tools tab there, you'll find some other fun choices to surf in as well, unavailable through the regular Google.com language tools: Surf the Web in Klingon, Elmer Fudd, Pig Latin, even Hacker-Speak!
The Bubble Project: Somebody put empty talk bubbles on ads all over New York. Thousands of them. This website features the bubbles after they were filled in by random people and photographed. They're categorized by the type of commentary in the bubbles and it's just such an awesome fun idea!
ClumsyCrooks.com: Heh, go read about stupid people who get in trouble because they're so darn stupid.
"Coming In Like El Niño!" and "Lightning!": Essays by Jeremy Lavine. You will not understand why these scans of strange ramble-babble essays are awesome until you read them.
Cornify: Everyone wants rainbows and unicorns. Just go to this site and click the button, and unlimited sparkly unicorns and shiny rainbows will appear. Enjoy!
Crying While Eating: On this site, users submit videos of themselves crying while eating. You get to watch the video and read the description of what they're eating and why they're crying. (Oh yes, and you can submit your own.)
Don't click here: I said, don't click. And as long as you keep clicking, I'll keep telling you to cut it out!
Download the Internet: What, don't you have enough space? Can't you wait 4,381 years? Click if you want to download the Internet.
Eat Babies: Baby-eating is strongly encouraged here (except that actually it isn't). Oh look, satire! Yes, they're crazy. Blame the chicken.
Eric Conveys an Emotion: Awesome. Watch Eric and his expressive face acting out emotions and situations too funny for words. You can even suggest emotions for Eric to try (though he'll probably never actually do them).
Failblog: This site collects images and videos related to extreme "fail." If you haven't heard that 'Net slang for absolutely hilariously huge failures, you should go here and see what true fail is.
Frogland: Frogland, yes Frogland . . . neat froggie background and weird stuff. Why frogs? Because. Frogs.
Future Me: Go to this site and send yourself an e-mail . . . in the FUTURE!
Google Moon: This is really cool all by itself, but make sure you zoom in on the moon all the way for a nice joke.
Graaaagh!: Here you can go to this site, enter your name, and have an e-mail sent to your friends to make them come and have their brain eaten so they'll turn into zombies. It's really fun.
Homestar Runner: Umm, pretty much indescribable. It's a Flash site with various toons and amusing crap. Homestar Runner is a weird armless guy with a speech impediment and an IQ a bit lower than his shoe size. You can see him acting stupid, and read the fan e-mails of his rival Strong Bad, as well as play fun Flash games and listen to goofy original music and stuff. It's just not something I can sum up, so go there and click the "intro" button to get an idea.
How Much Is Inside? These guys are either very creative or very drunk all the time. Probably kind of both. They do bizarre experiments to see "how much is inside" various things, like labeling as many CDs as they can to see how much ink is in a Sharpie, or straining out the gold flakes from Goldschläger to see how much gold is actually in that thing. The page is highly illustrated and quite hilarious.
HumanForSale.com: You can take this test and see how much money you're worth. Would you pay $2,472,118 for me??
Internet Pizza: You can order pizza with odd toppings (including non-edibles) and have it delivered straight to your screen.
Jamming Scissors Into Your Crotch: Doesn't this sound fun? If you'd like to try it, there are itemized instructions to teach you how to engage in this amusing and educational activity.
Just Cows: Well, yeah. WHY do we need to know how to say "cow" in 539 languages? We don't. WHY do we like this? Because it's USELESS!
My Cat Hates You: Just pictures of cats looking moody as hell. I love it.
Netdisaster: This site's purpose was to allow you to put any website into its window and then choose a disaster to happen to it. You can have it peed on by a cartoon guy, thrown up on, or blasted by the finger of God if you want. It's rather amusing (though some might be a tad offensive). Sadly, stupid misinterpretations caused it to get shut down in April 2009, but you can still get a desktop application and an option to disasterize your own page.
News of the Weird: This is self-explanatory . . . go here and read weird news.
Obama Is Literally Hitler: Nothing shows stupid arguments for what they are better than turning them up a notch.
Penny Arcade Remix Project: An English teacher in Japan had students fill in blank comics to practice their English skills. Some of their attempts are nothing short of hilarious.
Phonespell: What funny things does your phone number spell?
The Psychic Chicken: Do you really need an explanation?
Random Chicken: This is a page in which you can view the randomness of chickens. This is one of the older humor sites on the 'Net, and one of the first pages I ever linked to . . . and it's still here. What is it, you ask? JUST CHICKENS. THAT'S IT.
Random Frog: All this is is random frog pictures. You can reload and reload and see many different frogs. That's toad-ally cool!
Random Surrealism Generator: If you go here, you get to reload the page and see tons of very amusing surreal statements, such as "Are you trying to catch cholera from that straightjacket?" And you can even use the code to embed surrealism into your website. Can't miss it.
Real Ultimate Power: It's a TOTALLY SWEET site about the most TOTALLY SWEET subject . . . NINJAS! Ninjas are so . . . so . . . SWEET!
Rock, Paper, Saddam: Highly illustrated HILARIOUS stupid thing, you kinda have to see it.
Scratch and Sniff Website: I dunno. Go there. Can you smell anything? It kinda stinks.
Shit My Students Write: A teacher repeats gems from students' submissions. Their amusement factor is self-evident.
SlushPile Hell: You can read a literary agent's hilarious commentary on bits of query letters that make him want to bang his head against things. Oh dear lord do I feel his pain.
SmarterChild: This has no link because all you have to do is IM (on AOL or AOL Instant Messenger). Open an IM and address it to "SmarterChild," and just say hi or whatever. It is a bot that will allow you to play games and get movie listings and whatnot . . . see what it can do!
Smurf the Web: Are you tired of surfing the Web? Smurf the Web instead!
The Smurfs Were Communists: All the proof you need right here.
SorryGottaGo.com: Need to get off the frickin' phone? Well, download the sounds you need from this site and use them to play in the background when you REALLY need to go!
Spatula City: It's . . . well, it's spatulas. This lovely site shows you exactly what humorous websites tended to look like in the mid 1990s, too--and I've been linking to it about that long.
Steve, Don't Eat It! This is a hilarious blog in which Steve, our hapless protagonist, subjects himself to various food horrors and describes the experiences in frightening detail (with even more frightening illustrations, sometimes). I laughed until I cried. Beware the foul language.
Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About: Detailing the stupid arguments that this guy and his girlfriend have had. You'd wonder why they're still together, but only if you don't get it.
Tribute to the Removal of Geocities: The good ol' Web host Geocities is dead, and so are all the stupid pages full of animated gifs and ridiculous backgrounds. But this page pays tribute to all those early memes we all loved back when the Web was first getting off the ground.
Twoey's Coolest Links Page has links that are divided into categories and are really, really cool and weird. You might have fun looking through them.
Virtual Bubble Wrap: Okay, so somehow it's not quite as satisfying, but isn't it fun to pop digital bubbles?
ZOMBO: I'm not sure exactly what the site is for, but its intro is unmissable. You will feel welcomed, I'm sure.

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