[He left me alone for a little while; however, about 20 minutes later, I got another IM from him.]

JD: hello there
SwankiVY2: Hey, get any cybersex?
SwankiVY2: I was hoping you'd gotten some.
JD: i am in gainesville and lonely :)
SwankiVY2: Cyberspace is pretty good for that crap nowadays.
SwankiVY2: Well, my dear, what would you like me to do about that?
JD: tell me what your wearing gal........
SwankiVY2: Well. I'm wearing a long-sleeved fur coat I got in Alaska. Its hood is feathered with wolf fur. I'm wearing ski pants and flip flops, and my day-glo socks.
JD: ?
SwankiVY2: I'm also wearing disgustingly hideous orange lipstick.
SwankiVY2: And my polka dotted undies and matching bra, of course.
JD: wow
JD: vivid description gal
SwankiVY2: My earrings are as big as doorknobs! And if you're lucky, I'll hit you with them!
JD: got a pictur
SwankiVY2: I sure do!
JD: me toooooooo
JD: want it
SwankiVY2: How about I send it to you!!!
JD: ok

[At this point I sent him a picture of one of my male friends.]

SwankiVY2: I sent it!
JD: hold on
JD: you a sick fucker
SwankiVY2: Hey, you didn't ask for a picture of ME.
JD: yes i did
SwankiVY2: No, you said "got a pictur"
SwankiVY2: I had one. That was one of them.
JD: r u mor f
SwankiVY2: I'm female, of course. See, you already knew that, since you looked at my profile.
SwankiVY2: You found me through the member directory.
SwankiVY2: I wouldn't have come up if I wasn't female, since that is what you were looking for.
SwankiVY2: What exactly do you want with me, bro?
SwankiVY2: Oh, are we not speaking? What a shame. I really thought we were going to have some fun.
JD: iii
SwankiVY2: Oh, what does that mean?
JD: why r u sending me a big black man
SwankiVY2: Well, you asked if I had a picture. I do have pictures . . . and I just picked a random one. That's my friend!
JD: well im not gay
JD: im intersted in playing with a fem
SwankiVY2: THAT's obvious, dude.
JD: so what r u
SwankiVY2: You're also obviously interested in playing with your dick. . . .
SwankiVY2: AND you don't listen too well.
SwankiVY2: I SAID I was female.
SwankiVY2: I'm not interested in being sexed up online by some intellectually challenged macho pig.
SwankiVY2: If you can type me a complete sentence, I might consider you worthy of my time.
JD: then tell me what your wearing
SwankiVY2: That's not a complete sentence. You lose!
JD: fag
SwankiVY2: It had no punctuation, a total disregard for capitalization, and it also could be taken as a sentence fragment.
JD: gay
JD: ass
JD: lick
SwankiVY2: Are girls considered "fags" and "gays"?
JD: guys who harass other guys get HURT
SwankiVY2: I honestly don't think you have the correct terminology here.
SwankiVY2: Oh, that's a shame. Are you going to hurt guys who harass you?
JD: ill report you to the company
SwankiVY2: I'm afraid I have no penis. I'm not a male. I'm a female, probably of the human species.
SwankiVY2: Oh, you're going to report me for refusing your cybersex offer?
JD: i refused you
SwankiVY2: I'm afraid I've said nothing incriminating. And you have, pal.
SwankiVY2: You didn't refuse me. You asked me.
SwankiVY2: I have proof right here, and I'm logging this, and I'm going to send it to all my friends!
JD: you aint got a friend
SwankiVY2: I have many friends. If you had bothered to ask me anything besides what I was wearing, you would know that.
SwankiVY2: But . . . you didn't bother to learn anything about me . . . and you're probably sitting there still thinking I'm a guy . . . so do you honestly think I give a crap about what you're saying?
SwankiVY2: I refused cybersex with you . . . so I must be a guy, huh? Because no REAL woman would refuse a stud like YOU, Mr. Hot-Pants.
SwankiVY2: Oh! I bet you've found yourself a good virtual slut. And you can't handle typing to both of us since you've got only one hand free. I understand!
JD: you missed out
JD: sorry
SwankiVY2: Hehe! You honestly thought I wanted your sorry ass?
JD: i know u wanted it:)
SwankiVY2: I regret nothing! I laugh RIGHT IN YOUR FACE! Your attention is practically insulting!
JD: it turns me on
SwankiVY2: You would tell me you were a sleek, suave man, when in fact you're a cybergeek with pimples on your ass.
JD: i got dreadlocks
JD: wanna see
SwankiVY2: Do you know how many people JUST LIKE YOU IM me every single day because my marital status is listed as "single" and my sex is "female"?
SwankiVY2: I have no desire to see your skanky hairdo.
JD: no and i dont care
JD: what about your body send me pic
SwankiVY2: You're one of a very large and growing number. Just a cock without a brain.
SwankiVY2: Do you honestly think I would send you a picture of me? After everything you said to me and about me?
SwankiVY2: Do you REALLY think this????
JD: pweeze :) im really a good guy
SwankiVY2: You are a sorry individual! You have nothing but a dick and no brain! Your pelvic region CONTROLS YOUR THOUGHTS!!! Do you think I'd give ANYTHING to a person with the IQ of lint???
SwankiVY2: My God, do you think I'm three years old??

[It got to be no fun once he quit replying, so . . . I let him go. However, I did talk to him again and he was not a total asshole. He was just acting like one here, apparently. Oh well. Boys will be boys.]

Mikey: I think this fellow will always be lonely, and then states that he is really a "good guy," good for what? Oh wait I know when Viagra doesn't work call back in the puffer that's what JD is good for bringing male stars to attention, that and a good laugh with his pathetic attempt at a life, stop thinking with your crotch tard.

DiLL: hahahaha, i love how your superior intellect totally destroys this poor fellows 10 minute hopes and dreams... lol you should have criticized he was a pre-ejaculator, lol a speeding bullet to say. that would have been amusing. gah! please dont rant at me for not using proper punctuation and capitalization, im really to lazy to do it! honestly! (why do i always read the first and last of every column and then everything in between? i unno. THANKS FOR THE REPLY THOUGH! I didnt think you actually would! COOL! XD)

Zei-kun: Hillarious! loved it,laugh the hole time especially the part when he says YOU harass HIM
jeez people do forget quickly
your sarcasm and witty comments are priceless XD

Nyasu: "Hey, you didn't ask for a picture of ME."

Gold. Just...gold. xD