Jerk #30: "Are You A Hippy?"

I have a MySpace profile. Observe.

One day I got this message from someone I've never heard of:

From: XoXo Jaci
Date: Jul 3, 2006 8:07 PM

Are You A hippy???

Okay. Well, it was a long time before I bothered to answer my MySpace mail because I had recently moved, so when I finally crawled back into the saddle and answered this stupid thing, it was with a two-sentence reply:

From: swankivy
Date: Aug 9, 2006 1:44 PM

I'm not sure. What's your definition of a hippy?

She answered a few days later:

From: XoXo Jaci
Date: Aug 13, 2006 7:37 PM

umm I dont know do u consider yourself a hippy??

Umkay. Even though she's a stranger coming out of nowhere and asking me strange questions that have nothing to do with anything, I answered in a way that would open a door to figuring out why she was asking me that.

From: swankivy
Date: Aug 17, 2006 1:12 PM

If I was describing myself I wouldn't say "I'm a hippie." But I like some things that hippies like and believe some things that hippies believe, so I guess if someone else wants to categorize me they can go right ahead.

Sounds pretty straightforward, eh? Well, I guess this girl didn't think so, because she gave me this reply:

From: XoXo Jaci
Date: Aug 17, 2006 7:07 PM

ur weird

I guess that pushed my buttons. I don't like getting judged by strangers as "weird" when I speak my mind. Especially when I didn't say anything weird.

From: swankivy
Date: Aug 17, 2006 10:16 PM

Okay, so you can come out of the blue and ask someone you don't know if they're a hippie for no apparent reason.

But I'm the weird one.

Have a nice day!

This is when it got really funny.

From: XoXo Jaci
Date: Aug 18, 2006 4:26 PM

ok your the one that tried to add me as a friend like hella long ago and I asked you that like FOREVER ago. So dont even think your better than me cause your not and never will be!

Ohhhhhhhhkay.

First off, I'm kind of defensive on MySpace. If someone tries to friend me and I don't know who they are, I ask them. And if I don't want to friend them back, I don't. I've never EVER friended anyone I don't know.

Secondly, she is fourteen. That makes it pretty unlikely that I know her from somewhere since I was in high school when she was born. She lives in a different state, so it's unlikely I've run into her anywhere. She doesn't know what form of "your" to use in a sentence and doesn't comprehend contractions. And she thinks I'm weird.

That sounds like a likely story: I tried to add HER as a friend. WTF?

Now, the funniest thing about this is apparently I really pissed her off. She probably felt very inferior and upset because I made so much sense—nobody ever hollers about how "U THINK UR BETTER THEN ME BUT UR NOT!!!!!!!!!" unless they do feel like they've been upstaged. So what she did was change her profile and preferences so that no one can mail her or see her profile unless they have been chosen as her friend.

I would have liked to respond to this mail and give her a nice reality check to the tune of "I never tried to add you. You're confused. I don't even know who you are." And maybe a couple digital bitch slaps. But her changing her preferences prevented that—yet another common action of people who know they're fighting a losing battle, cutting off communication so they have the last word without earning it.

A big part of me just says "Who cares? She's a dumb fourteen-year-old who got confused and stuck her head up her ass."

And then another part of me says "*I* wasn't that stupid when I was fourteen. I wasn't that stupid when I was *four*."

My advice to you, chickadee?

Get over yourself. And pay attention.

She might be a closeted hippy herself; one day she'll step into the light! ;) Once she gets over her cheerleader "I like to type like a 4 year old instead of 14 year old" phase that is...