Jerk #6: "stop trying to be something your not!"

LarryM: are you in gainesville?
SwankiVY2: Yes I am
LarryM: how are you?
LarryM: so am I
SwankiVY2: I'm doing all right, and congratulations.
LarryM: LOL
LarryM: what are you up to tonight?
SwankiVY2: I was just answering an e-mail from the UCB people ::grin::
LarryM: what is UCB?
SwankiVY2: Upright Citizens Brigade, have you seen their show?
LarryM: no
SwankiVY2: Well, I'm exchanging e-mails with them.
LarryM: who are they?
SwankiVY2: They pose as a secret undercover organization, but they are a comedy troupe with a show on Comedy Central.
LarryM: oh that is cool
SwankiVY2: They say it's the other way around, though.
SwankiVY2: (that they are actually a secret organization but they pose as a comedy troupe)
LarryM: LOL
LarryM: so, how old are you?
SwankiVY2: I'm twenty-two.
LarryM: so am I
LarryM: did you go out tonight?
SwankiVY2: Go out where?
LarryM: anywhere.. did you?
SwankiVY2: I left my house, yes.
SwankiVY2: Why are you asking me such a strange question?
LarryM: just making conversation
LarryM: I'm sorry
SwankiVY2: I guess . . . but why did you want to know if I left my house today?
SwankiVY2: People ask me that a *lot*. I've always wondered why.
LarryM: just asking
SwankiVY2: I get a lot of "did you go out tonight?" I wonder what people's obsession is with me leaving my house?
SwankiVY2: Maybe you can help clear that up?
LarryM: are you ok?
SwankiVY2: I'm fine.
SwankiVY2: Did you . . . "go out"?
LarryM: what do you look like?
LarryM: nope
SwankiVY2: That's another common question--I can try to describe myself.
LarryM: ok
SwankiVY2: I'm a four feet eleven inches tall, and I weigh about one hundred and ten pounds. I have three-foot-long blonde hair and blue eyes, and I vaguely resemble a pixie.
LarryM: what is a pixie?
SwankiVY2: A fairy, a mystical creature.
SwankiVY2: One of my friends likes to call me "Sprite."
SwankiVY2: You may call me Ivy.
SwankiVY2: Is your name Larry?
LarryM: yes
SwankiVY2: Ahh, then may I call you Larry?
LarryM: why are you trying to be something your not?
SwankiVY2: Excuse me?
SwankiVY2: Trying to be something I'm not? What do you think I'm trying to be that I am not?
LarryM: your trying to act so wise, and proper
LarryM: I can tell your so full of crap
SwankiVY2: I'm not trying to act wise. I'm not trying to act proper. This is the way I talk.
LarryM: sure it is
SwankiVY2: I'm a writer, I construct my sentences artistically.
LarryM: grow up
SwankiVY2: And if you don't like it and think it makes me look like I am "full of crap," then you do not have to talk to me.
LarryM: I am a writer also.. my father owned a million dollar PR firm... I have been constructing sentences since i was five
LarryM: and I don't speak like my head is up my butt
SwankiVY2: I don't believe I would be able to type if I had attained that exceedingly strange position.
SwankiVY2: You and I are different people. . . .
SwankiVY2: You may be a writer also, but I offer my hobby as a reason that I communicate in this way online. . . .
LarryM: it sound like you have no life.... let me guess you spend about three- four hours a day with your face in a book
SwankiVY2: Actually, I don't read very much.
SwankiVY2: If you want to know the truth. . . .
LarryM: I'm sure
SwankiVY2: I think that you are the one who's "full of crap," because you are judging me on *how I construct my sentences* and thinking you know how my life is.
SwankiVY2: You don't know anything about me, because you have not asked me anything about myself except my looks.
LarryM: not judging.. I am just tired and fed up with people trying to portray some front
SwankiVY2: I'm not giving you a front. How do you know this is not how I am if you do not know me?
LarryM: trying to be so hard to be "something"
SwankiVY2: I'm not trying to be anything I'm not.
LarryM: if you were not putting a front then you would relax and speak like a human
SwankiVY2: I can see it's not worth it to have this conversation with you--you think you know how I should speak and since I am not conforming to that standard you think I'm pretending to be something I'm not.
SwankiVY2: I don't intend to waste my time talking to someone who makes premature assumptions and just falsely accuses me . . . I have better things to do.
LarryM: i will leave you with two quotes
SwankiVY2: goodnight.

[In case you can't tell, I cut off my IMs to this guy before he could give me these two quotes. A bit appalling how he just blew up at me, huh? I still don't get what he thought I was trying to be. Damn, sure figured me out. . . . :P]

Kayla: Whenever I use 'long' or 'smart' words such as procrastinating, quintessential, epitome, idiosyncrasy or narcissistic people tell me that I sound patronising and conceited, lol!

Yeah, I'm 15 years old and I use 'big' words. And yes, I also use grammar and I hate text language. It doesn't mean I have a beard and preach to people in condescending voices. Society is so idiotic with the English language.